"No, if I was being mean, when you opened the door, I would've said, 'Oh, hey, Ray Liotta, is Olivia home?' You see, I thought you were Ray Liotta because your skin has the texture of a decorative autumn squash."

I thought long and hard about this entry.
**Note, pictures below might be a little upsetting or startling. I tried hard to keep them to a minimum.**

I have been putting it off for awhile now. Not because this entry is hard to write about, I just, had to give it some thought. I wanted to try and get it all out in the open in the best way I know how. So let me just start out by saying, I love you [name] and I know you will never read this. However, this entry, I dedicate to you because I know how much suffering you have been through. You have come out the other end stronger and healthier than ever and I am so proud of you. We never got a chance to really sat down and talk about it in private other than on one occasion. That one occasion, was enough to make me realize that this issue is just as important in men as in women. I know I have done a piece on body image in women, but we spend too much time talking about the WOMEN'S issues.

We often forget that men can and do have similar expectations to live up to. I am not going to sit here and side with one sex over the other. That is not the point here. I am here to talk about the men because a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with anorexia in high school. I was one of those teenagers who was ignorant to the fact that a boy could ever do that. I always thought anorexia was for girls only. Wrong. I always thought girls were the only ones with an image to maintain. Wrong. I never understood what anorexia was or how extensive the treatment can be, until a close friend was living it.

Let me start out by saying I hate the term "manorexic." It sounds like some cool, hip fad. It is no laughing matter or by any means worthy of comedy. It is a serious illness that fucks with your mind and your body. My friend often cringed when people called him a manorexic. He did not like the specificity, the directness, the scrutiny. He still to this day hates it. Whatever you choose to call it, it does not matter. Let us just break down what anorexia is. Some of you might be yawning or wondering why the fuck I am giving you this definition. Well, because there are people out there who do not know what it means. If I had a nickel every time someone said anorexia was just not eating. My friend explains how much more there is to it than that.

"The main feature of anorexia nervosa is to lose weight or maintain an abnormally low weight for one's age and height. It is accompanied by a variety of changes in behavior, emotions, thinking, perceptions, and social interactions.Food and eating dominate the life of a person with anorexia nervosa. Weight loss is achieved by excessive dieting and other extreme ways of controlling weight. These behaviors are fueled by an intense desire to be thinner and a fear of becoming fat. Body weight and shape become the main or even sole measures of self-worth. Maintaining an extremely low weight becomes equated with beauty, success, self-esteem, and self-control and is not seen as a problem" (ehealthmd.com).

Just because a guy or girl skips a meal or does not eat for the day, does not mean they are anorexic. The psychological and physical aspects must be there. Our group of friends never suspected [name] to be anorexic because we did not know what to look for and because he was a guy. We thought he was just always tall and lanky. He runs, that's it! Athletes who run are always skinny and amazons, no worries. Well, he had a third of the weight on his body. His ribs stuck out. He used to layer his clothes. He covered up and created bulk to hide the emaciation. I remember the one answer he never gave me. To this day, when I look back on everything, I still never got the answer to the question every anorexic gets. "Why?" He told me how long and when it started and treatment, but never gave me any answer as to why he did it. I must explain again that I did not understand at that age, that there does not always have to be a why. There can be so many contributing factors, overbearing parents, school, peers, media, eating, etc. He never gave an answer.

Looking at him now it's like a complete 180. He went from being very fragile and tiny to a healthy, muscular [quite ripped] guy. I have not really talked with him lately about his new appearance or about the past at all. Part of me is scared to and part of me knows that if he wants to talk about it, he will come to me. I probably will never know where his head was in those days or where it is now in regards to his body image. He might still have those beliefs or they could be 200 percent gone. All I know is, being there for him was what got him through it. He told all of us that having that support was what pushed him through it. I laughed and said "[name], how could us sending you cards and calling you be of any help? It's not like I am really doing much of anything!" He explained that it was more than you might think. He just gave me a hug and said thank you. I smiled and that was the end of that.

I think the point of this post has changed from a few minutes ago, but I think it speaks for itself. I'm proud of him. AND yes, men do have eating disorders. They are just as serious and no laughing matter. They are scary and life-threatening, but with the right support you can make it through. He did it, and any other guy can.

--AJ